I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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