I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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