Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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