She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
