I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
