just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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