oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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