Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
