What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
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Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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