Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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