I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
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he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
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The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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