Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
