It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
