i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
