So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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