it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
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Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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