i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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