I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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