Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize