this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
