dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize