We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
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I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
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Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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