oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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