u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
