And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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