I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
