i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
