I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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