HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
