Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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