theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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