what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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