I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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