so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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