Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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