that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
