we made out on top of his cat.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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