So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
All the doctor said was why
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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