none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
