Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize