butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
