We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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