Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
