Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
