She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
