He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize