hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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