so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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