Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
