In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
