if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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