what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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