pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
