I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
