I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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