I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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