Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
So. Much. Porn.
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