i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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