Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
