When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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