Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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