party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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