nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
there is glitter all over my balls
I forget how to act sober
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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