I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
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He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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