Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
