...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
