he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
