The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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